The Modern Day Office Douchebag?
So this article started off as a therapy session for me to outline all the things I’ve seen in a particular person that I have had a hard time dealing with and understanding. I should take a step back and say that I am someone that needs to have balance. And if balance is not attainable, than at least a better understanding of a given situation. But I wanted to organize these feelings in such a way that I might be able to process them better. There was lots of searching for terms that would serve as inspiration. Some of those terms were:
- Attention seeking
- Self importance
And the more I searched around for words already written about this, the more I kept coming across a disorder known as Histrionic Personality Disorder or HPD. It was this paragraph that nailed it:
People with HPD have a high need for attention, make loud and inappropriate appearances, exaggerate their behaviors and emotions, and crave stimulation. They may exhibit sexually provocative behavior, express strong emotions with an impressionistic style, and can be easily influenced by others. Associated features include egocentrism, self-indulgence, continuous longing for appreciation, and persistent manipulative behavior to achieve their own needs.
So much of the above statement helped put to rest that balance that I was longing in my own mind. But up until this point I had coined new titles and terms for this person and their behavior. Let’s investigate a little further, shall we? They are:
This is someone who is compelled to put themselves into every situation possible. For example, if they were to witness someone else having a convesation with a third party that garned a good belly laugh, the douchebag radar goes off and suddenly it’s an all consuming power that will take over. They will get up and make themselves part of the conversation. Or even often so, subvertly wait until that conversation is over, go up to the third party and try to get them to laugh harder than the previous event.
This someone will also exhibit behavior to win over people. To let people believe that they are thought about by this person. And indeed, they might be thought about. But I would question every reason behind it because I do not believe it is done for mutual benefit. If anyone had a feeling that it wasn’t riddled with fakery, I’d question them, too.
Master of Self Importance
Both in what they know or who they know- they always know more. There’s always a pat on the back of something they’ve done or someone they’ve met or someone they know that is bigger and/or better than anything you are talking about at that moment
Mighty Mouse Syndrome
The douchebag will always find a way to sweep in and “save the Day”. There’s a sense that one should feel honor if the they were so gracious as to help you out. And don’t ask for changes. Don’t provide feedback. Don’t question their greatness. Such behavior will be taken as a personal attack.
Party of One, Never
This person cannot manage to be alone. They will thwart all responsibilities in favor of social gatherings, lunches out and office romances (don’t even get me started on adultery).
I’ve learned that the more I get involved with trying to understand this person, the harder it is for me. As much as my empathetic nature wants to say something about the negative imapct their ways have around those around them, the balance shifts and I’m consumed by their toxicity. Letting this go shouldn’t be a challenge but has proven so, And since taking this position, karma has helped set things straight(er) and has moved this person a little further away from my center.